Tautologies and other common errors.

Very beginning. The word very is redundant in this phrase.

Further/farther. Further applies to conceptual things: shall we take the plans further? Farther applies to distance: the town you want is about 5 miles farther down the road.

Personal belongings. All belongings are personal - unless they’ve been stolen from a public place.

Small minority. Minorities are, by their very definitions, small.

In one way or another. You might have heard someone use the following phrase: Well, it's probably true in one way or another. Well, of course it is. If it's not true in one way then it's not fucking true! And how can something be true in two ways? It's just another one of our meaningless little phrases we use to pad out our language and make ourselves seem that much smarter (read: dumber).

Old adage. All adages are, by their very definitions, old.

If you've seen one, you've seen 'em all. Actually, if you've seen one, you've seen one. If you've seen them all, then you've seen them all.

Past experience. All experiences happen in the past, unless they’re happening in the present (in which case you might want to start experiencing them and stop writing about them).

Exact same/exactly the same. Something is either the same as something or it isn’t. The word exact is redundant in this phrase.

PIN number. The initial n in the acronym PIN stands for number. Thus, the word number is a tautology and should be omitted. A typical conversation held at a supermarket:

Person at checkout: Please insert your PIN number, sir.
Me: PIN number? I'll insert my PIN, thank you very much. Also, please don't call me sir: I haven't been knighted by her holiness just yet.
Person at checkout: Huh?

Honest truth. A truth is either true or it isn't. For such a thing as an honest truth to exist, there would have to be dishonest truths or half-truths. Again, the word half-truth is redundant. Instead, use lie (unless you're a crooked politician).

Future plans. All plans are to be executed in the future.

Gather together. What? Are you gonna gather apart? If you’re not together, then you haven’t gathered. Lose the word together as it's a tautology.

Shrug one’s shoulders. What else are you gonna shrug: your knees? Simply say shrug.

Plan ahead. All plans extend into the future. The word ahead is redundant. Lose it!

First time ever. It’s either your first time, or it isn’t. Decide!

Added bonus. All bonuses are additional. Lose added.

Safe haven. Is there such a thing as an unsafe haven? Havens are, by their very definitions, safe places.

Safe bet. All bets have an element of risk to them; thus, no bet is safe. Use instead safe option.

Temper tantrum. All tantrums occur when someone’s in a temper. The word temper is thus a tautology.

Unique individual. All individuals are unique; they’re individual! Also, never modify unique with adverbs such as rather or somewhat. Something is either unique or it isn’t.

Could hear a pin drop. One can’t hear most things drop, let alone a pin. One might be able to hear a pin land, though.

Emergency situation. All occurrences are situations; it’s just an emergency.

Assistant supervisor. An assistant supervisor is supervised by someone else, so where does the supervision come in? Why not call the person the supervisor’s assistant?

Original copy. A copy is not original; it’s just a copy.

Plastic glass. It seems absurd that something can be made of two materials simultaneously. Just call it a plastic cup.

Resident alien. If someone settles in a country, they’re no longer an alien - they're a resident of that country! (That phrase shows the underlying racism which pervades in some American states - immigrants can never be citizens.)

Uninvited guest. Regardless of whether a person is invited to something or not, they’re still - and always will be - a guest.

Live recording. All recordings are done live.

Dry lake. If a lake has dried up, it’s no longer a lake.

Headache tablet. Surely the last thing you need when you have a headache is a headache tablet. Why not take an anti-headache tablet?

Irony. Irony deals with unexpected things which are the opposite of what is expected. If a man on his way to the hospital to receive some insulin dies in a car crash, it’s just an event; a co-incidence. If he dies in a crash in which a lorry carrying sugar is involved, that’s an oddly poetic co-incidence. If the lorry is carrying insulin, however, then that’s an irony.

Sour grapes. Sour grapes has nothing to do with jealousy or spite; it means to not do something based on the belief that the outcome will not be one that is expected or wanted. The phrase comes from Aesop’s fable of The Fox and the Grapes. In the story, a fox is trying to jump up to get some grapes off a vine but can’t reach. In the end, he gives up and says that the grapes probably would’ve been sour anyway.

Forte. The word is pronounced in two ways and has two meanings. The noun forte (pronounced ‘fort’) means a strong point or skill. In music, the word forte (an adjective and/or adverb pronounced ‘for-tay’) means to play loud.

Prodigal. Prodigal does not mean ‘wandering’ and isn’t related to the word ‘prodigy’. It means to be recklessly wasteful or extravagant.

Celibate. Celibacy pertains to non-marriage. Chastity and sexual abstinence pertain to having non-sexual relationships.

Proverbial. Dropping something in ‘the proverbial basket’ is not a proverb; it’s just a metaphor. Also, running ‘like the proverbial cheetah’ isn't, either - it’s a simile. Something is proverbial only if it relates to a proverb.

Momentarily. Momentarily means in a moment; not for a moment. To do something for a moment is to do something presently.

Criterion/criteria. Criterion is singular; criteria plural. The same applies to bacterium and bacteria, agendum and agenda, medium and media, graffito and graffiti, and paparazzo and paparazzi - to name only a few.

Light-year. A light-year is a measure of distance; not time. Things travel light-years, but don’t take light-years.

Acronym. An acronym is only an acronym if it can be pronounced as a word - such as radar, NATO, laser or, perhaps, UNICEF. All other words - such as IBM, FBI and EU - are just abbreviations.

Can/may. Can applies to what is possible: can it be done? May applies to what is permissible: may I borrow some money?

The proof is in the pudding. To quote George Carlin: “The raisins and rice are in the pudding.” The phrase is: the proof of the pudding is in the eating. In this phrase, proof means test.

An eye for an eye. This adage is not a call for revenge. It simply states that the punishment should fit the crime: if someone takes an eye, an eye should be taken in return. It is not vindictive; it is mitigatory.

Don’t make the same mistake twice. This implies that three mistakes would have to be made - first one mistake would be made, then the mistake would be repeated again twice. A better phrase is: don’t make the same mistake.

Healthy/healthful. Healthy is a condition; healthful is a property. People are healthy. Food is healthful - it aids health. Food is not healthy - because food is dead, inert and sitting on your plate. If it were healthy, it would be doing push-ups.

Race, creed or colour. Race and colour are one and the same. The phrase also reeks of insincerity.

Pre-board. What does that mean? To board something before you board it? Is that logically possible? The prefix pre- can be omitted from most words without changing the meaning; pre- is simply a meaningless prefix.

Fire department. Surely the fire department would be in charge of starting fires? Why not the anti-fire or distinguishing department? Makes more sense.

Wrinkle cream. It’s now mainly referred to as anti-wrinkle cream, because the properties of the former cream left some middle-aged women at a loss.

Anti-/ante-. The prefix anti- means opposed to or having a reverse effect: anti-abortion, anti-ageing. The prefix ante- means before and pertains to historical periods. (Historical periods itself could be a tautology - I just didn't want to make the assumption that it pertains to those bloody events that women have.)

Holy war. No war can be holy. Does the commandment ‘Thou shalt not kill’ mean anything to you religious zealots?

Mercy killing. No killing is, in itself, merciful. Instead, use the word euthanasia.

Friendly fire. I don’t think anyone would find stray bullets coming from allies that friendly. See if you think it’s friendly when you’re dead.

Not going to win any popularity contests. Have you ever heard of anyone who’s won a popularity contest? I guess the winners are just not that popular.

Unidentified person/ unknown person. Surely everyone has an identity and is known to at least two people - their mother and father (maybe not the father). The phrase should really be unidentifiable person, but I guess that sounds too long-winded.

You can talk ‘til you’re blue in the face. Actually, I think it’s quite hard to talk when one’s blue in the face. I tried it once and I died. Why not talk ‘til you’re light purple in the face? I think the chances of survival are slightly higher in that way.

Open a can of worms. Do people really pack worms into cans? Where are they buying these?

Read you the Riot Act. Has anyone ever read you the Riot Act? I think it’s bullshit, folks.

The Pen is mightier than the sword. The phrase sounds a little nineteenth century now. Why not: the typewriter is mightier than the machine gun? Or, the Macintosh is mightier than the particle-beam gun?

Dropping like flies. The consensus is that flies fly. I’ve never seen a fly drop, as it were.

In the wrong place at the wrong time. Shouldn’t it be: in the right place at the wrong time? You’re in the right place because that’s where your day’s activities have lead you. Unfortunately, you got there just at the wrong time because a bullet’s about to fly through your skull.

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist. Does this phrase imply that rocket scientists are smart? When did bombing innocent brown people become a smart and admirable career?

You never know. Sometimes, you do know.

You don’t have to be a brain surgeon. In some situations, I imagine one would have to be a brain surgeon - such as situations involving brain surgery.

The sky’s the limit. The sky is not the limit - the sky never ends. The Earth is the limit - if you keep digging earth, you’re eventually gonna reach the centre and die.

Look to the skies. How can there be more than one sky? Am I not seeing something?

You get what you pay for/ you pays your money, you takes your choice. You get what you’re given. In today’s consumer-driven society, you probably get a fraction of what you pay for - you get whatever they want to give you.

Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow might never come. Today is another day. If tomorrow does come, it will be today - and will thus be another day.

Nice guys finish last. Statistically, nice guys finish third; short guys finish last. If no short people are competing, it's likely that drunks or men wearing toupees will finish last.

Those were the days. What about the nights? During the days, you worked. What about all the drinking, drug-taking, partying and fucking you used to do at night?

Everyone has his price. This is a common misconception. Some people don’t have their prices: due to a government mix-up, some people have their neighbours’ prices.

You can’t win them all. One man in a small Cornish village really is winning them all. Another guy is losing them all. Someone, somewhere, may even be drawing them all.

They don’t make ‘em like they used to. They do make them like they used to, actually; they just don’t sell them any more.

Things will get better before they get worse. How do you know? What if they continue to get worse? This is happening to some people as we speak - and will continue to happen.

It takes two to tango. Actually, a person can tango reasonably well on their own. It takes two to tango together.

Nobody ever said life is fair. Actually, someone said that to me when I was twelve. They died the next day at the age of twenty-seven.

There’s a sucker born every minute and two more are born to take him. With today’s larger population base, it’s more reasonable to assume that fifty suckers are born every minute and five-hundred and fifty-seven are born to take them.

New initiative. All initiatives are new.

General public. Unless you’re treating certain members of the public as special, all members of the public are general.